99 Bottles of Wine on the Wall...

... Take one down, pass it around,

98 Bottles of wine on the wall.

Well, OK... Maybe not 99 bottles but I should have bought more than just 12.

Yes... I have been quite the WINO lately.... and YES, by both standards apparently.

I have been known to complain,

AND...

I like to drink wine.

It's no secret.

And as of lately, I have been having a real hard time keeping Chardonnay in my house. For some reason, I buy it and it miraculously disappears. Not quite sure but I have an idea.... or a rather large hunch as to how this happens... Let's just say, I am a rather great hostess.

This leads me to my story. A friend of mine mentioned that Walgreens had their wine on clearance. Not just on sale... BUT CLEARANCE. Yes, I know all you cousins reading this KNOW what the word "clearance" means. But on wine? Really?

I mean who clearances wine unless it is old and well... shitty wine? Evidently, Walgreens does. Not really sure why. Maybe a little overstock? But what ever the reason, I quickly ran on my merry way to Walgreens to reap the benefits.

And the result stands as such... I purchased 12 bottles of wine for $44.20 my friends.

That's an average of $3.68 per bottle.

Let's get serious, we are not talking Rombauer status or anything here but...

Sterling, Edna Valley, Chateau St Jean, and La Crema were among the few name brand chardonnays in my shopping cart.

I mean really?... $4.23 for a bottle of La Crema Chardonnay??

YEP!

Best part is... check out the "Total Savings" at the bottom of the receipt - $136.32!!!

And I ONLY bought 12 bottles??

What the hell was I thinking?

UGH.

I need a glass of wine...

Super Bowl Cruise

We had just spent 4 hours in the car filled with pure anticipation for the cruise we were about to embark on. When the 6 of us, fairly light complected folk, arrived in line to board the ship, we noticed we were completely outnumbered, to say the least.

Was there a memo or something that we missed??

Not that it was a problem by any means... but the junk in the trunk was larger, the high heals were definitely taller, and the skin color was for sure, darker. A LOT DARKER.

We are about as blond, blue-eyed and fair skinned as you can get. We were the ones that stood out. People were looking at us and laughing. I'm sure of it. Where was that darn memo that we missed?

Well, sure enough... A day into the cruise, we learned that Super Bowl Weekend evidently is the "unOfficial" yet "Official" ANNUAL weekend that the African American community sets sail to Ensenada.

Let's just say that the crazy fun factor was raised a few notches for this trip.

Which leads me to a Super Bowl Cruise Weekend TOP 10 list:

1. The outfits - Them black girls can dress... Wow. I could not tell you how many times my eye balls 'bout popped out of my head. The bigger the girl, the more she owned that shiny bright red full body suit. phew. If only white girls could be so comfortable with their full figured bodies.... or maybe not.

2. The shoes - And the shoes to go with the outfits were even more crazy. Bathing suits on the pool deck were worn with 17 inch stilettos. (Ok, maybe I am exaggerating a little, maybe they were only 16 inches tall). And I hear there was even one girl with a gun as the heel... something like this:

3. No fake boobs - (Except for maybe a few in our group) But those sistas don't need no silicone. Trust me on this one.

4. Constantly waiting for Sir Mix-A-Lot to bust out with the live version of "Baby Got Back"

5. My favorite conversation with a rather nice and handsome young black man at while sitting at the black jack table:

Him: "You been on this cruise before?"

Me: "Yes."

Him: "On Super Bowl Weekend???"

Me: "No..."

Him: (just smiled and laughed while he nodded his head)

Me: "Yeah, I clearly missed that memo."

Him: (still laughing)

6. Charger Boy, Bicep Dude and Camo Dude -You'd had to 'ove been there to understand.

7. Constantly checking YouTube to make sure I am not in any videos from that weekend.

8. Lavantra, Jackie, their passed out friend and their many bottles of tequila.

9. Getting a contact high as we walked down every hallway. Seriously... How the heck were they able to smuggle all that stuff on the ship??

10. Celebrating Russell's 40th birthday aboard the Carnival Cruise Ship to Ensenada on SUPER BOWL WEEKEND!!!

We had so much fun, we actually considered doing it again next year!!!

Snug as a bug in a... BOX.

I know, it is kinda hard to tell... But this is a picture of Carson, asleep in a box.

Steve got me a really cool wine fridge for Valentine's Day. Well, the box that the fridge came in was the hit of this party.

Brady was napping upstairs. I was working on picture stuff (and playing words with friends) in the office. And I thought Carson was watching cartoons.

Nope.

He created a home inside this box and fell fast asleep.

Zzzzzzzz.

Epiphany

As Oprah would call it, I had an "Ahhh Haaa" moment.

I have really been feeling a bit overwhelmed and under the weather emotionally lately. Lots on my mind. I have felt as though my life has been spiraling out of control with a lack of direction. Friends have even approached me about my "un-me" nature.

And well, on Saturday... It happened. I won't go into detail... because it is pretty deep. But I think I saw the light. Steve is not so thoroughly convinced.... but I am on my way to prove it.

It may not be possible to change that quickly because I do believe that it is partly hormonal and at a level that is way out of my control... But, I am going to try. I have an incredible support system and the most amazing husband in the whole world.

And because I am pretty sure life can't get any better than these two little nuggets of goodness.

Seeking 125...

Dearest 125,

I recently announced on Facebook that I am having an affair with Jim... spelled GYM. Well, to be perfectly honest, I am just using him. I am using him as a piece of meat, or should I say a piece of celery, to get to you. Yes, I know it has been a while since I have longed for your love and affection but I'm back on the trail to seek your attention.

You see, I haven't forgotten the comment my "wonderful husband" made a while ago. It lingers in the back of my mind. And with that being said, I have set out some goals and have enlisted some friends to help me to meet you once and for all!!

Goal 1: March 26, 2011 - The Big Sur Mud Run

Team: We don't know yet...

Goal 2: April 16, 2011 - Millerton Lake Triathlon

Anyone want to join me??

Exhibit Friends A, B & C: Meet my new running shoes and their trusty companions...

Nike Free. Best shoes. EVER. Yes, they are an obnoxiously ugly pink, but my other option was purple. And those who know me, know I hate purple. But the best part is that little piece of goodness that fits under the sole in my left shoe... Nike + iPod. Yep, it is a GPS device that tracks my running, tells me my time and distance while syncing to my iPod. There is even a dude that talks to me while I run. I pretend that he is totally hot. It motivates me to run faster.

Exhibit Friend D: Miley Cyrus

Would you still be my friend if I told you that "Party in the U.S.A." is one of my favorite workout songs? Well it is. So be it.

So there, 125. There you have it. I think you are damn sexy and I am back in business to rekindle our friendship. I realize that reconnecting with you is a shallow attempt to feel good about myself. But if it encourages my overall efforts to exercise and be healthy....

So be it.

Here's to you 125.

Until we meet again.

Devotedly,

Patty Lyn Schmidt