The Mammogram

It's official....

I do NOT have Breast Cancer.

Not that I really thought I did, but now I know that I do not .

It's just amazing how once you have had cancer, your whole life changes. I was fortunate to have survived a treatable form of Thyroid Cancer called Papillary Cancer. However, ever since then, I have been extremely paranoid about having Cancer again. It's really a scary feeling.

You see, the first time I was diagnosed, I had no symptoms. I was living my life as what I thought was a healthy adult. Then came along that dreaded day in 2005 when my doctor felt a lump in my throat. Shortly after that, I sat in the my doctor's office, ironically the same day crazy Tom Cruise jumped up and down on Oprah's couch, and was told that I had CANCER.

I had surgery to remove my entire thyroid. I endured a significant amount of radiation to kill any remaining thryroid tissue filled cancer cells. And currently live my life, as far as I know, CANCER free.

Everyday I have to take a pill to regulate my thyroid levels. I have regular check ups. I have blood work done every 6 months. I have yearly ultrasounds done on my neck. And with every pill, every check up, every blood draw, every ultrasound, it is a reminder that I have had CANCER. And every time, as the doctors review my chart, I wonder, could I have CANCER again? I mean, that is why they are checking.... right?

Can I also add that I have lost THREE friends in the last few years. THREE dear friends who have passed away in their mid 30's, leaving behind a family and children who adored them. So, when the thought of cancer runs through my mind, I get sad... and really scared. It's a lonely place.

Then last week when I sat in the doctor's office because I had sharp shooting pains in my breasts... my mind wandered. It wandered to places that I couldn't help but let it go. When the doctor said I have lumpy fibercystic breast tissue, and suggested that I have a mammogram... again, my mind wandered to that "what if" place. Why is she suggesting that I get a mammogram at 33 years old? Knowing my chances were slim, I still couldn't help but wonder "What if I have Breast Cancer?"

So, today was the day. I got to have my lovely breasts squished between the glass. Usually I have them pushed up against the glass, but this time it was a little different. The actually procedure wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. The worst part was going half the day without deodorant. But I stuck it out. Or stuck THEM out. Literally speaking.

When the tech left the room to review my images with the radiologist... I was again left wondering for those, what seemed like forever, few minutes... "What did she see?"

Only for her to return to my room and announce that there were no signs of breast cancer.

I don't need another mammogram until I am 40 years old.

Waaaahooo!!

Like I said, it's not like I thought I had breast cancer, but what a relief it is to know that I do not!

At least not today.

God Bless You

Tammy Herrera

Shawna Kilbert

Blair Weber

I miss you.