Two Thousand and Twelve...

I have been dictating my next blog over and over in my head for a while now. I wanted to write something profound for my first entry of 2012. But instead I am just sitting here with a laptop on my lap..(fancy that) while my husband is channel surfing. I'm bored so I am going to word vomit. My apologies early.

As I reflect on 2011, I realize how I am want to take 2012 by the horns and take control. 2011 was a year filled with some wonderful weddings, some new babies, some great times with a wonderful family, some picture taking...(ok, lots of picture taking), some loneliness, some tears, some heart felt questions on life and even some therapy.

Yes... Loneliness and tears.

How could that be you ask?

I just hit a place in my life where everything was content. I wasn't chasing a college degree, or some trying to earn a big corporate paycheck, or hunting down a husband to be, or fighting cancer, or busy making babies.... Life well... had become everything I ever dreamed of.

I had it all. Or what I thought was having it all. The family, the house financial security and everything short of the white picket fence. So why was I so miserable. Ok, I wasn't that miserable, but I definitely had my moments of pure sadness.

I had a wonderful husband. I had two beautiful boys. An energetic 2 year old and a high maintenance 4 year old. I struggled with finding joy among the screaming, the never-ending dishes, the never-ending laundry, the wiping butts and the lonely days at home with these needy children that I loved so much. Towards the end of 2011 life was spiraling out of control, overworking myself in my photography business, only to make my stress and anxiety sky rocket.

Then there was therapy.

I just needed to vent and feel as though I wasn't crazy.

I am coming to realize that the stereotypical way of life isn't that glamorous. On the inside it is a lot of work, regardless how easy others make it look.

I am willing to admit that I can't do it by myself. I need help. I need time for me. I need to utilize my resources and make it happen. Even if it means spending a little more money on child care. I am not the type to manage 10 kids, or even 2 for that matter. Everyone is different.

So that brings me to 2012.

Bull. Horns. Taking Control.

Yep. I have a pretty rigorous schedule lined up for these kids. Among it, I have two days to myself for work and or errands. Specific individual date days with each of my precious boys, so I can enjoy time with each of them separately. Time with them together for me to enjoy them, unplugged, no computer. I want to hang out with them and have fun with them. Time allowed for dates with my wonderful husband. And most of all ME time... Pedi's, wine and friends.

I can do this.

Putting on my big girl panties.

Changing my attitude.

Gonna rock it.

I'm not saying that I am going to not have days of tears of being overwhelmed, but hopefully they will be fewer and farer between in 2012 than they were in 2011.

So, CHEERS to 2012.

Let's rock it together.

What do you think?

Monday's Confessions

Wow, I am looking at the clock and I only have 35 minutes (PST) to complete this blog entry to remain in compliance with my own goal undertakings.

I have been putting it off all day because I just couldn't decide what to blog about. I am now up against the clock and going to make it happen. So, I thought I'd reflect a little on my very unproductive day and reveal some confessions in the life of a stay-at-home mommy.

My Monday Confessions...

1. This morning I drove 25 minutes across town to take Carson to school. After dropping him off, Brady and I decided to go to the gym that is near Carson's school. However, Brady left his "Bebe" (aka. baby blanket) at home. He screamed bloody murder for it and refused to go into the gym without it, so I drove all the way home to get it before going to the gym. And I wonder why my kids are spoiled.

2. I had a date with JIM. I did 45 minutes on the elliptical machine. Can I get a whooop whooop??

3. After picking up Carson from school, we came home, put Brady down for a nap, and I attempted to take a nap too. Notice the word "attempted".... Yeah, try taking a nap with a needy 4 year old. Doesn't work very well.

4. While trying to nap, Carson made me cut his toe nails. Really Carson? I am trying to sleep!! Does this have to happen right now?? Yes. Apparently it did.

5. I fixed Mac n Cheese with hot dogs for dinner. And not just for the kids. One of our family favorites. Shhhhh.... Don't tell anyone.

6. I selfishly made Gingersnaps tonight for myself instead of the Chocolate Chip cookies that everyone else loves. No one else likes gingersnaps, but I do. Just means more for me to eat.

7. I mentioned to Steve that I did not receive a single birthday gift for my birthday last month. Not one single gift. Yep. Wow. You know you are getting old when you don't get to unwrap anything for your birthday. Kinda sad. But whatever, I'm not bitter or anything. So, tonight, Steve brought home a cake and a present. The kids sang "Happy Birthday" and I unwrapped a Sonicare toothbrush.... (silence). I love my practical husband more than anything in the world.

8. I secretly (not so secretly anymore) dreamed of living in Salinas today. Moving back is not really an option so I really should stop daydreaming about it. But it is a nice thought every now and again.

9. I confess that this blog entry is really boring and I sincerely apologize. This whole blog writing thing is not like riding a bike, it takes some getting used to again.

10. I really really stayed up way to late.

But here's to me back on the blog.

Bring it!

The BLOG Return

Ok, so I realize that it has been quite a while since I have last "blogged".

I have been agonizing about what to "blog" about. I thought because it has been a while, it should probably be good, right?

So much has happened in my life since my last blog. I wondered, should I blog about all the cool things I did over the summer?

How about Steve's and my trip to Kauai?

Or, how my photography business is keeping me really busy?

Or even how I have put my life on a hard core schedule and am doing my best to try to hold true to it?

Or what it is like in the life of a stay-at-home mom who apparently doesn't stay home because she has almost 23,000 miles on her car that she has only had since last DECEMBER?

Or how cute my boys are?

Or maybe how Ashton Kutchar isn't that funny on Two and a Half Men?

Yep, so many things to blog about. But instead, I am just letter vomiting about nothing really.

But I do have a plan. Refer to the item above about creating a schedule and sticking to it... well, yeah, I am going to have a Monday, Top 10 blog.

YEP! Real original. I know.

But hey.

I have to have focus and a goal to keep me on schedule.

So, stay tuned.

FYI... Tomorrow is Monday.

What is my Top 10 going to be?

Don't worry, I have no idea either.

But tomorrow we shall find out.

NITE.

Blog Absent

Wow.

I can't believe that it has been almost 2 months since my last blog post.

Sorry. Not that you care. But I do.

Gonna jump back on the band wagon.

Soon.

I hope.

Stay tuned.

Lucky Charms

How do they learn to do this at such an early age?

Happy Birthday COW

Everyone celebrates stuffed animal birthdays right?

I mean, really?

When Carson starting claiming that Cow was turning three on his next birthday, I didn't think much of it. Then he obsessively (wonder where he gets that trait from?) started telling me that we needed to plan for his party. I figured I would just roll with it.

So, we made invitations and delivered them to the neighbor boys.

Decorated the dining room.

And made a cake.

Friends came over and we celebrated....

Here is a picture of Cow eating his cake:

Guests brought gifts:

Suzanne even called to wish Cow a happy birthday:

Perfectly normal right?

Totally.

Unfortunately, Carson is already planning Doggie's birthday and Giraffe's birthday parties now.

Ohhh man. It's gonna be a long summer....

What's in YOUR purse?

On a daily basis I dig and dig through my purse looking for my keys... or my phone... or something hiding amid the mess on the bottom of my purse.

Yesterday during a recent shopping transaction, I instead of my wallet, I pulled out a half eaten sticky fruit twist left over from last weeks visit to Jamba Juice. It was pretty disgusting and I was kind of embarrassed.

I thought to myself, "Maybe it is time to clean out my wallet."

It wasn't just a thought, it was time.

So here it is my cute little nude colored Michael Kors hobo.

And inside it...

Here we go....

My Wallet - Yes, a necessity. It needs to be cleaned out too, but come on, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Checkbook - Only to pay the therapist. No, really.

To Do List - I probably make 10 a day, and don't complete any of them.

Glasses Case - Glasses are actually stored safely inside.

Receipt - From a recent hair salon excursion

Clothes Pins - Jane Wilson put them there during a photo shoot in Salinas.

Vitamins - Not sure why they are in my purse.

Coors Light Bottle Opener - Just in case? I have no idea where that is from either.

Chap Stick - A necessity.

Lip Gloss - TWO colors.

Cliff Bar - Open, half eaten. That was my lunch yesterday.

EmergenC - Generic kind. Thought I was getting sick.

6 pens and a highlighter - Because apparently one isn't enough

Business Cards - Love them. Gotta have them at all times.

Kids Toys - Duh.

Empty Container of Mints - My kids eat EVERYTHING!!

Sunscreen - Just in case.

Tampons - Well, secrets out...

Playland Tickets - Someday, maybe I will take my kids there again. Maybe. Just maybe.

Hair Ties - Three of them. This is proof that there is THREE of them in there. But why is it that I can never fine just ONE?

Gift Cards, Macy's Star Rewards, Coupons, Frequent Shopper Cards, Member Rewards Cards, etc....

and

A TC3 Temporary Tattoo.

So, I challenge YOU...

What's in YOUR purse?