Two Times the Fun! Two Times the WORK!

My life changed forever the day Brady Stephen Schmidt was born. We were now the proud parents of, not one, but, TWO beautiful little BOYS.

Having a second child has been rewarding, yet very challenging at the same time. When Carson was born, Steve and I were in complete awe with the miracle of having new baby. Every moment was a surreal experience. We anticipated every coo, every smile, and every step as I read daily from "What to Expect the First Year."

With Carson, I could tell you how old he was down to the hour or even second. (6 weeks, 2 days and 3 hours, 17 minutes and 37 seconds) In comparison, I have no idea how old Brady is. I have to go to my trusty Blackberry calendar and count the weeks on a regular basis.

The second time around, I feel that it is so much more fun, (a lot more work, but definitely more fun). I tend to enjoy each moment more with a more relaxed attitude. I am not so wrapped up in the thoughts of, "Is this normal?" or "What do I do?"

There are many times that I feel completely consumed by the experience. I have frequent panic attacks and shutter with anxiety. But that doesn't change the love and compassion I feel for my wonderful children.

The biggest struggle is managing our household. I really had no idea that having two children would be this difficult. There are many moments when both children are screaming, needing to be fed, or just having a meltdown and all I want to do is crawl in a hole and scream as well. There are times that I don't think I am going to make it. I assumed going into this that it couldn't be all that bad. If it was, why do so many moms do it? Nobody told me the truth of how difficult it really is. There were (and still are) days that I felt like the worst parent because I didn't think I could do it. I must be doing something wrong because there is no possible way that parenting just two children could be this challenging (some mothers have 3, 4, 5, 6 and in some cases even more). As I talk to mothers about this, I am learning that most mother's feel the way I do. I am just disappointed that nobody chose to tell me that it was going to be this hard. I think moms want others to think that they are capable and that they have it all together. I personally have NO shame and am here to tell you that it is super super difficult. It's not that I would changed my decision to have another child, I just would have liked to have been more prepared as to how difficult it was going to be so I would have avoided the feelings of being an incompetent mother.

With each day that passes, somehow I manage to take one moment at a time and make it through, sometimes leaving the house a mess and my physical appearance less than desirable, but I make it through.

An example of my inability to fulfill a thought or complete simple task due to having two children is showcased here in this blog. I have had to get up from writing this blog after every sentence to either console a crying baby, get Carson a piece of candy for going pee pee on the potty, get Carson's ball, wash Carson's ball, get Carson some juice, change Carson's clothes, get Carson a piece of Cake, make the baby a bottle, make Tenaya go outside, let Tenaya in, answer the phone (it was Suzanne. Carson told her that she couldn't come over because the house was messy. It was messy on the floor. It was messy on the table. Thanks Carson for the insight)... and that is just a few things that I have done since I have started writing this blog.

There has also been a bit of adjustment to our lives that has come with having two children. I am one that doesn't sit still for long. I tend to be always on the go. Unfortunately, with two children, the ability and ease of "doing" had been compromised.

On the Fourth of July, my motherhood was put to the test. We were at Bass Lake. The sun was shining. The cocktails were flowing. Friends were laughing. The fireworks were glowing. The lake was calling my name. But were was I? I was in the cabin with my sweet little newborn and my rambunctious 2 year old. There were moments when I was sad that I couldn't be out with our friends to enjoy the lake, sun or cocktails, but I quickly realized that it was a very small sacrafice for the true blessing of my amazing little boys.

Life with Brady has taken some getting used to. He is a darling little addition to our already wonderful family. Aside from his pterodactyl like screams, Brady is sweet as pie.